Missing periods is the most joyful event for a woman who has been trying to conceive. However, the more you wish to miss the periods, the more stubbornly it keeps coming back every month.
When you are planning a baby, you diligently try to have sex for that sacred period of 10 days often at the irritation and angst of the husband because when you are told to have sex it ceases to be fun. Add to it the hectic and stressful cosmopolitan life. Your husband has an important meeting at office and you keep messaging him to come back home. Your romantic wait transforms into frustration and you two end up having a fight, shooting the stress level and missing the ovulation date.
Yet you try every arrow in your quiver to coax, cajole and seduce him. And then wait desperately, ticking off each day on the calendar praying that you miss your periods. You keep the self-help pregnancy test kit ready but hidden somewhere beneath your clothes in the closet because you don’t want to jinx it.
Then you get those very well known lower abdomen pain and you try to ward off bad thoughts by convincing that you exercised harder today or you ate something and it is just a gas issue.
But how long can you run from the truth. You get your periods.
You feel depressed, lost and yet another month of your precious biological calendar is wasted. You don’t have the strength to follow the same rig next month all over again. You can’t maintain a fake enthusiasm.
Your husband feels your depression is regular PMS. And, even if you muster all your strength to try and explain him looking for some compassion, pat comes the reply, “Don’t worry we will try again next month” and the conversation ends with a period. Here, you don’t need a period, you just needed a shoulder.
But, the pertinent question is from where you will bring back the strength, the hope, and the enthusiasm, again.
It is tough, very tough but you are a strong woman and you will fight back again with grit and a smile.
Infertility is a tough battle and hats off to all of you who are fighting it, silently every day and every moment of your life.
I just wish the society was a little less judgmental and I wasn’t made to believe throughout my days of upbringing that my only job was to be a good wife - the parameters of which starts with being able to procreate.
Also read: Period Leave Can Wait, Fertility Leave Can’t | Acknowledge Infertility Exists
[…] Endometriosis, Ovarian issues, career and fertility balance, infertility, IVF, miscarriages, period issues and a whole gamut of taboo […]
Hats off to you too! You have very nicely captured in words the untold agony of countless women like me…who deal with this hope depression cycle month after month, year after year. I myself am trying to cope with this non stop every month since last 6 + years
Hats off to brave women like you to endure all this roller-coaster emotion with a smile on face and hope in heart:)
[…] of the Goddess and the priest assures that if this turmeric is applied during bath daily (except on period days), healthy pregnancy is assured. With the belief that her dreams will soon be fulfilled Aishna […]
[…] organization, Culture Machine brought in a new leave policy to allow women employees to take the first day of their period off, social media almost exploded with comments, arguments, counter-arguments, a multitude of opinions […]
[…] and the intercourse seems to be happening well and at the right time. Yet, month after month, conception seems elusive. It is only natural that couples undergoing this month after month tend to get frustrated. If you […]
[…] Whatever be the cause, remember, do not suffer in silence. Open up and discuss this with your doctor and get yourself treated. Sometimes, a simple change could do wonders. Take that first step and save yourself from falling into the vicious cycle of, I Didn’t Miss My Periods, Again. […]
[…] Read: I Didn’t Miss My Periods, Again […]
[…] into depression when the periods comes and the delay was just chemical. { Read the story - I Didn’t Miss My Periods, Again […]