How To Kill The 2 Weeks Waiting Period Post Embryo Transfer In IVF Treatment?

When I asked the ladies going through IVF, IUI and other infertility treatments as to what was the most difficult part of journey, most of them said the anxiety of waiting period.

When you go through a particular infertility treatment that promises conception you are extremely anxious till the result comes out. In case of IVF treatment it is usually 2 weeks while it may differ in other treatments but not more than 25 days, maximum. Even when you take pills that helps in conception, check your ovulation calendar and have ticked off everything you can do to conceive; the wait begins till your next period date. Even if the period date is delayed by a single day you cross your fingers. A lot of times, later to sink into depression when the periods comes and the delay was just chemical. { Read the story - I Didn’t Miss My Periods, Again }

It is the failure behind the wait that we fear the most. It is latching to the last bit of hope that keeps us anxious.

“14th day after transfer was full of tension whether positive or negative report. It’s like you are in final exam, the constant feeling of whether you passed or failed. Will never forget the heart beating so fast on beta test day”

S.S (Pseudo name of a real woman undergoing IVF)

“2ww is definitely the worst part…even in my deepest sleep I used to worry…I surfed so much coz I didn’t have much to do…though my doc told me to live a normal life and no bedrest…and yes not to mention facing ur beta HCG result…and not to mention what next in case of failure”

S.A (Pseudo name of a real woman undergoing IVF)

When I asked my doctor post embryo transfer about my chances of success, he said; “Mam, we can give hormones before and we can give lots of hormones and injections afterwards to sustain the pregnancy but whether the embryo will implant in your uterus or not is completely in the hands of God. Medical science has not reached there yet.”

So, this phase of 15-20 days is absolutely your luck and God’s will. Medical science though extremely advanced has no role to play here. Well, this ambiguity is what causes fear and fear breeds anxiety.

Manage Your Thoughts

Anxiety is natural at this stage but not let it become stress. There is a fine line between. Balance your mind and thoughts. Surely, negative thoughts will come. Asking you to not have negative thoughts is unrealistic. You have gone through so much that pain of the past is sure to interfere. However, you can realign your negative thoughts to make them balanced. For example, if you had a failed IVF cycle earlier then transform the thoughts of “it failed last time, what will happen now”, and say to yourself instead, “It failed last time because of XYZ reason but this time I chose to rectify that and did better so chances will be better. But if it fails then I will follow plan B”.

Yes, having a plan B always helps.

This way you calm your control freak mind. I did this. Trust me; I want everything clear at the onset itself. I am sure you too want clarity. Give yourself that clarity and you will see a huge reduction in negative thoughts.

Keep Yourself Busy During Waiting Period

You must be thinking I am insane. This is time when you are supposed to take rest and keep it slow. Ok, I am not asking you to strain yourself physically. Keep your mind busy. You know, an empty mind is the devil’s breeding ground.

Do whatever keeps your over active, hyper stimulated mind engaged. You can try colouring Mandala books. Those are stress busters. You can even invite friends (real close ones), take a chill pill and laugh out loud; you can do embroidery (sounds old school) or make flower arrangements (flowers bring peace).

There is no dearth of choices. Do something. Just don’t sit idle and keep nagging God.

Stop Nagging God

I did this so I know.

Most women end up conversing to the limit of nagging God. “I really want a kid. Please give me a baby. I won’t ask you anything ever. I endured a lot of pain last time. Please make it successful this time. I will do so and so if I conceive. I will come visit you in so and so temple”.

Stop. Please stop.

I am not converting you. Please talk to God but don’t beg. If it has to come to you, it will come. If it doesn’t happen then accept it gracefully. Ask God to give you strength to bear the pain of failure. Ask him to teach you to surrender and accept destiny with grace. I am not saying that you stop fighting infertility but do that with dignity.

When you incessantly beg and nag, you are actually harming yourself because you are falling in that cycle of hope and depression.

Take a calm approach. Pray and meditate.

These are a few from my side. What about you? Any tips to manage the TWW stress.

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