#OpenUp Series - Do You Question Your Self Worth When Unable To Become Parents

This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Dost Gitanjali 1 year, 5 months ago.

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    Dost Gitanjali 

    Questioning your self worth in infertility journey is the most common side affect of this problem. During long periods of battle with infertility you feel drained both emotionally and physically, and this affects your sense of self-worth, your relationships, your friendships, and even your job. You constantly question if this is the punishment of your past karma. You end up over thinking if it was something wrong that you did which caused infertility problem or a miscarriage or a failed cycle of IVF. Women think they are not normal and there is something amiss and thus it is justified that they aren’t blessed with parenthood.

    Low self-esteem has led many a woman to leave their flourishing career or happy life during the course of infertility journey. Women taken upon themselves the task to punish their own self for not able to bear a child. This emanates from patriarchal social system and stereotype mindset wherein motherhood is equal to womanhood. As if there is this parameter, a kind of a checklist that if you haven’t become a mother there is something grossly wrong with you being a woman.

    And, let me tell you that this is not just the problem of women, men too face such issues. I recently got connected with a couple undergoing infertility journey and they confided that people around them think that the husband is gay because they are not having a kid. Some have snidely made remarks while closer members of family had the audacity to ask them on their face. The husband was shattered and didn’t know how to respond. Not being able to become a father was now about proving his sexuality.

    How many of you have felt like this? Do you think this is right? How to handle such thoughts?

    Let’s #OpenUp and start discussing.

    Shvats shveta suri 

    So true this feeling is Gitanjali. Although gives me a bit of solace to know I am not alone. So far it’s been a lonely journey thinking I was alone mentally suffering in this way; but to know this is a typical feeling we all get in this stage is the first hope that we cannot be singled out. Its a side effect of the occupational hazard we are facing and much more solace to know that there is help! Infertility dost is there.
    Coaching is another aspect which helps challenge this mindset


    Yes I have lost my confidence and so did my husband. Before this struggle started we both were very happy go lucky types high confidence level professionals. But now we avoid family get together have lost many friends, avoid reunions and in general have become isolated & lack confidence in facing full families of our friends cousins & even juniors

    Ritika_Jain Ritika Jain 

    Yes, this is the stage of life were anyone can lose confidence. Infertility is a problem that not only affect you but also your family. You have to keep patience throughout this journey. Not to worry if your partner is with you, you both are enough to handle this situation.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by Dost Gitanjali.
    Pramod@womans-Nature.org pramod@womans-nature.org 

    We a couple who are married for 10 years faced a similar situation


    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by Dost Gitanjali.
    Arpan_Chakraborty Arpan Chakraborty 

    Hello.I am 29 years of old.Height 5’9″.Weight 76kgs.Very less physically active.I also have indirect inguinal hernia in left side with mild reactive hydrosile.My food habits are not very good.I take salds,curds,chicken (Regular Basis) Basically I am very much prone to Junk foods.During the rest I used to smoke.I didn’t smoke since 2months.I am married for one year.My wife had misscarriage in last November in first trimester.On that occasion I went to a Gyno she asked me to undergo a semen analysis.Here it is.I came up with the lab report.She seemed to be less concerned about my ‘Teratozoospermia’ report.She said as long as there is enough sperm production there is nothing to worry about.This may cause Beacause of Infections or some other causes.I want to know how to interpret this analysis and how to overcome Teratozoospermia

    Period of Abstinence - 2Days

    (Physical Characteristics)
    Volume - 2.3ml
    Colour - Grey Opalescent
    Viscosity - Normal
    pH - Normal

    (Microscopic Characteristics)
    Sperm Concentration - 61.0 mollion/ml
    Total Motility - 68℅

    Progressive - 46℅
    Non-Progressive - 22%
    Immotile - 32%

    Normal - 2%
    Pin Head - 3%
    Head Defect - 52%
    Neck Defect - 33%
    Tail Defect - 6%
    Cytoplasmic droplets - 4%
    Pus Cells - 2-3 /hpf
    RBC’s -
    Epithelial cells - 0-1 / hpf
    Agglutination -

    Spermatogonial Diagnosis - Teratozoospermia

    Dost Gitanjali 

    Hi Arpan,

    Please mail us your details at info@infertilitydost.com

    Our counselor will reach out to help.


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