Not every fertility journey is a success story.
Quirina Kamoen, from Netherlands, shares her struggle with fertility and puts across two points – one, that pain of infertility is same across borders, across countries and continents. Secondly, not every fertility journey turns out to be miraculous success stories at the end; some just stand there quietly and resiliently; accepting their fate with grace and dignity. We salute her strength and thank her to sharing this inspiring real life fertility journey with us.
Quirina was born in Netherlands. Raised by her father, her childhood hasn’t been all that great. She had to struggle as a child to survive and lived in a lot in shelters because she did not really had a home growing up.
She had to struggle a lot just to be able to live her life without fear. For the last 6 years she found a home and live with her husband who truly loves and lets her live life the way she wants. Her only regret is that she can’t have her child but is happy that her life is filled with love and support and, that helps a lot.
Fertility Journey is a struggle which you can’t fight alone.
True Tales Of Fertility Journey
Contrary to popular beliefs, all stories do not have a “happily ever after” ending. Sometimes despite endless prayers, miracles don’t happen. Life throws its weight around and we have to carry it like a burden—because we don’t have a choice always! No, I’m not trying to sound negative; rather I’m just showing you the other side of the coin—the side of unfulfilled dreams and desires.
Quirina Kamoen—The Braveheart Infertility Fighter
Meet Quirina Kamoen, the protagonist of our story from the Netherlands. Having spent a greater part of her childhood in shelters yearning for the love and care of a family, Quirina always dreamt of a home with a loving husband, a dog and children. Did Quirina find the man of her dreams? Of course she did! What happened after that? Read on…
Quirina met Marcel in 2012. They fell in love and started living together. But happiness as they say, is often elusive. When Quirina was barely 28, she was diagnosed with endometriosis and a malignant tumor in her uterus. Quirina was shattered but Marcel stood by her like a rock and so she was able to stride through this difficult time with his support, love and care.
Endometriosis + Uterine Genome = Difficult Fertility Journey
Quirina was waiting to realize her dream of starting a family but at the same time she wanted to ensure that there were no traces of the malignant tumor left in her system. Doctors gave a confirmation in 2013. Even before that in 2012, Quirina started missing her periods and she was skeptical as to what this could mean? Is it good news? But pregnancy test kit gave confusing answers. Though she was not mentally ready to get pregnant, she decided to visit a gynecologist for confirmation. She did confirm but not for pregnancy, rather of the presence of uterine genomes. Well! This took the couple by surprise because they were certainly not expecting this. Her doctor explained that this had to be surgically removed. Quirina was upset, more for Marcel than for herself. Their dream to start a family was not ready to take off anytime soon.
Failed Rounds of IVF
A year after the operation, when Quirina was still not getting pregnant, they decided to go for an in vitro fertilization, having heard so much about it. They knew it was going to be difficult and would be a test of their relationship too. Yet, putting everything at stake, they decided to give it a try. But even after two rounds, her pregnancy had to be terminated each time as the embryo would develop but complications cropped up mid-way.
At this stage, they were not ready to go for round 3 as they could not take the disappointment that each round brought, so they decided to wait and get pregnant naturally. Perhaps a miracle was just round the corner; they didn’t want to lose hope.
Resilient Acceptance Of Infertility
Gradually, the pain due to endometriosis worsened and the uterine genomes were back. Medications failed and the only solution left was removal of the uterus. This was no small decision especially for a couple who are yearning to start a family. But this seemed to be the dead end and had to be done to avoid recurring pain and medication. And when the uterus was finally removed in 2017, Quirina was never the same again. Facing people, meeting friends who were pregnant was not easy, but Quirina strengthened herself slowly. The thought that you cannot have children of your own brings in immense grief that completely engulfs you, but sometimes, you have to accept your fate and look instead for the little things that you have which can bring happiness.
Quirina’s story has a sad ending no doubt, but it is also a story of tenacity and strength in the most difficult times. Not all those who suffer from infertility manage to have children. Some move on and motivate others with their resilience.
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