#OpenUp Series – Do You Question Your Self Worth When Unable To Become Parents

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Ritika Jain 2 days, 22 hours ago.

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  • #9035
     Gitanjali 
    Keymaster

    Questioning your self worth in infertility journey is the most common side affect of this problem. During long periods of battle with infertility you feel drained both emotionally and physically, and this affects your sense of self-worth, your relationships, your friendships, and even your job. You constantly question if this is the punishment of your past karma. You end up over thinking if it was something wrong that you did which caused infertility problem or a miscarriage or a failed cycle of IVF. Women think they are not normal and there is something amiss and thus it is justified that they aren’t blessed with parenthood.

    Low self-esteem has led many a woman to leave their flourishing career or happy life during the course of infertility journey. Women taken upon themselves the task to punish their own self for not able to bear a child. This emanates from patriarchal social system and stereotype mindset wherein motherhood is equal to womanhood. As if there is this parameter, a kind of a checklist that if you haven’t become a mother there is something grossly wrong with you being a woman.

    And, let me tell you that this is not just the problem of women, men too face such issues. I recently got connected with a couple undergoing infertility journey and they confided that people around them think that the husband is gay because they are not having a kid. Some have snidely made remarks while closer members of family had the audacity to ask them on their face. The husband was shattered and didn’t know how to respond. Not being able to become a father was now about proving his sexuality.

    How many of you have felt like this? Do you think this is right? How to handle such thoughts?

    Let’s #OpenUp and start discussing.

    #10189
     shveta suri 
    Participant

    So true this feeling is Gitanjali. Although gives me a bit of solace to know I am not alone. So far it’s been a lonely journey thinking I was alone mentally suffering in this way; but to know this is a typical feeling we all get in this stage is the first hope that we cannot be singled out. Its a side effect of the occupational hazard we are facing and much more solace to know that there is help! Infertility dost is there.
    Coaching is another aspect which helps challenge this mindset

    #10572
     Shri 
    Participant

    Yes I have lost my confidence and so did my husband. Before this struggle started we both were very happy go lucky types high confidence level professionals. But now we avoid family get together have lost many friends, avoid reunions and in general have become isolated & lack confidence in facing full families of our friends cousins & even juniors

    #10573
     Ritika Jain 
    Participant

    Yes, this is the stage of life were anyone can lose confidence. Infertility is a problem that not only affect you but also your family. You have to keep patience throughout this journey. Not to worry if your partner is with you, you both are enough to handle this situation.

    https://www.novaivifertility.com/bengaluru-koramangala

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